


[HIATUS] This Journey Has An End (What About Our Love?)

by Woonie_Ongniel



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Ongniel, Romance, discovering of feelings, straight but not really, they think that they are straitght
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-08-09 15:43:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woonie_Ongniel/pseuds/Woonie_Ongniel
Summary: "It's our last concert. It's our last last ment. Our last song. Everyone is crying! Our fans are chanting "Wanna One" and crying too. Those sounds start to fading away the moment our eyes found each other, like the first time that we met..."Ong SeongWu is in his last concert has a member of Wanna One and  he starts to having a big fear that everything is going to come to an end... not only Wanna One, but their friendship turned to love too. Kang Daniel is feeling the same away. Can they're love survive being busy and apart? Their eyes found each other and they start to remembering everything that happen between them since the produce days...Are they going to be together forever or are they going to break up? Are they going to be strong?





	1. When Our Eyes Met for The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> Well...this is my firts long fic of Ongniel. My first multi-chapter Ongniel fic.  don't know how many chapters it will have.
> 
> This is a fic with a lot of flashbacks, but really a lot! The flashbacks are going to be since the produce days until the moment that they are (December when they are supposed to go back to their companies, unfortunately ;_;).
> 
> It's going to be full of Ongniel moments! Eventually it will have smut...I'm thinking about it...
> 
> It's going to be Ong and Daniel POV, and maybe a third person POV.
> 
> I had this idea today, so I decided to give it a try. I really don't know how this is going to end...so...
> 
> English is not my mother language!
> 
> Hope you will like it and feel free to criticize the good and the bad! ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Another thing the flashbacks are in Italic. The present it's normal.

**(Ong SeongWu POV)**  

It's our last concert. It's our last ment. Our last song. Everyone is crying! Our fans are chanting "Wanna One" and crying too. Those sounds start to fading away the moment our eyes found each other, like the first time that we met... And that smile that made me fallen in love for him... Those eyes that makes my heart skip a beat every time... 

 

\----------- 

 **_February / March 2017_ **  

 _Today is our re-evaluation day. I'm so nervous, because I know that I sucked in the dance part, not being able to follow the routine. So, I've been practicing a lot in these three days. I did the video and I know that it was a lot better, but still I’m afraid that I got a lower rank and can’t highlight myself with the benefits of being A. and worst of the worsts... we have to wait until the lower ranks got their grades._  

 _Despite of being very nervous I’ve been very lonely too. I came alone from my company and I don’t feel connected with anyone here in this class. Don't get me wrong because I talk with my fellow A trainees, but I don’t feel the click with any of them._  

 _It's so nerve wrecking right now. The room is in complete and pure silence. Everyone is so afraid and nervous, that we only look down or to front. Then the trainees that get it A started to enter. From F to C, there a few of them. I am so chocked right now to see a guy from the F class here. Oh my God, this is very frightening. At last the trainees from B enter the room. I recognize a few, like the rest of the BNM boys and that cute chubby kid with that amazing voice._  

 _That's when the boy with broad shoulders but with a puppy face enters clapping his hands and with such a bright smile looking down to me. That's when we see each other for the first time. That's when my heart skips a beat for the first time. “Damn! What's wrong with me?!” - I think as_ _I am shocked with myself - “Focus SeongWu! Focus! You don’t have your grade yet, so focus!” - I keep mentally telling to myself._  

 _Then Boa daebyeon-in started to call our names and of course, mine is the last one to be called, making me even more nervous. When I hear my name being called, I stand up shaking so much, not looking to the sides... not noticing those eyes that followed every step of mine. I open my paper and see the big red A stamped there and I can’t hide my happiness. I’m so happy and proud of me that I walk so excited to my sit, that I almost trip on my own foot. I’m so clumsy, geez. Everyone laughs a bit while my face turns very red with embarrassment. “Geez, why me?!” - I think to myself. And worst! Now that I know my grade and I’m at ease I can feel those eyes that never left me and having the knowledge that he saw my almost fall it makes me more embarrassed and makes me want to hide. I think again - “What the actual FUCK is wrong with me? Why am I so worried because of him seeing me like this? I must be crazy, shinsha!”_  

 _When I sit down, I can’t help myself from looking at him again and damn! My heart skips a beat again when I turn my head and he is looking at me with such a big puppy smile that his eyes are almost closed and looking like crescent moons_ _,_ _although he_ _is holding hands with that kid_ _Woojin_ _and the kid is talking with him, but he doesn´t replay. He only smiles._ _His_ _smile is almost like the sun that shines so much in my dark days and that makes me want to smile like him and waking up with that smile every time and every day. “Again, what the fuck is wrong with me?! I never feel like this with any men before, not even with the girls I dated before...What the fuck?!”, but strangely I don’t mind. Strangely, I want to know everything about this pink haired with a puppy face boy. Strangely I want to get closed to him. I want to be his friend. I look at him again and we smile at each other again._  

 _After a while we are back to practice again, to master our choreography with the new trainees to be perfect, because we are going to be the center of the dance. After hours and hours of practicing, we all lay in the floor very exhausted and with real heavy pants. No one has the strength to talk. I look up and in my front there he is, the boy that is shaking my straightness at the moment with those sexy pants. “WOW! Hold your horses Ong! What the fuck are you thinking right now! The lack of sleep is making you think weird things!” – I say mentally to myself and shake my head to send away those thoughts._  

 _I can’t help myself and I look to him again._ _That_ _kid_ _Woojin_ _is trying talking with him, trying to get his attention, but he doesn’t take his eyes of me and he keeps smiling at me. It's so strange, but it makes me so_ _peaceful_ _. That's when I finally hear his deep and husky voice talking to me - “Tired that much?”_  

 _“Yeah” - I replay -_ _“It’s_ _a very_ _difficult_ _choreography and it’s very_ _difficult_ _to sing and dance at the same time.”_  

 _“You bet that right,” - He continues. God! I love his voice. I must be crazy, but I do love it. It's so deep and husky and_ _definitely_ _with Busan accent. - “but you are very good at it like in the company evaluation. I really loved_ _your_ _freestyle popping dance and you sang so well too. I really enjoyed.”_  

 _“Hmm... thanks. Thanks a lot!” - I_ _thank_ _him while I feel that my face is warming up and turning very red like a school girl that gets very shy while_ _receiving_ _a compliment from her boy crush._ _Shinsha_ _! Am I a crazy person? Why I’m feeling like these, when I’m straight. When I only date girls. -_ _“I_ _loved to see your_ _performance_ _too. You are an amazing dancer too.”_  

 _“_ _Thanks! Dancing his one of my passions. I love to sing too, especially rap. although I can sing too, not like you or_ _Woojinie_ _, but I'm going to improve myself on that!”_  

 _“I love to dance too. I've been doing popping for a long time now and I really into freestyle dance. You?” - I ask him._  

 _“I’ve been doing b-boying since middle school and in high school I did modern dance too, but I enjoy the freestyle and doing_ _choreographs_ _too.”_  

 _“You do_ _choreography too? Wow!_ _Daebak_ _.” - I ask him with a very_ _shocked_ _face._  

 _“Hmmm... Yes” - He answers me rather embarrassed and very shyly. OMG!_ _So_ _cute! - “I did a lot of the choreographs for our practices in our company basement.”_  

 _“That’s really amazing!” - I tell him really amazed. And like that we clicked. I finally found_ _someone that I could feel connected and we continue to talk and talk,_ _discovering_ _that we have a lot of things in common and_ _forgetting_ _that we were not alone in that practice room. I discovered that he is_ _one year_ _younger than me and that I_ _don't_ _mine the no_ _hyung_ _calling thing_ _._ _The pink haired guy was so easy to talk and he laughed a lot at my jokes. We are going to get well together. After, what it seemed a_ _long time_ _ago He makes a frowning face and then_ _starts_ _to_ _chuckle_ _and turns to me:_  

 _“I’m_ _Daniel, by the way...” - He tells me while_ _laughing a lot (and what a beautiful laugh! Snapp out_ _of_ _it_ _Ong!) and_ _extending his hand_ _at me. - “Kang Daniel!”_  

 _That's when I realized that we started to talk without introducing our names. I start to laugh too and I accept his hand and while we shake_ _hands and laugh,_ _I can feel some_ _electricity_ _coming from that_ _shake. And that’s when I realized that I’m screwed! That maybe I’m not that straight after all! - “I’m_ _SeongWu_ _, Ong_ _SeongWu_ _!”_  

\----------- 

 

All I want is to be by his side. All I want is to be hugged and loved by him. All I want is to be by his side forever. We look to each once more. Like magnet we can’t take our eyes of each other. The tears that fall from our eyes are replaced with happy tears, because the moment that we are side by side he gives that big puppy smile and the grip he gives at my hand while holding her, I know that everything will be okay... that nothing can’t keep us apart...


	2. When My Heart Skipped a Beat for The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I knew that he was looking at me on that stage. So, I automatically looked at him and when I saw those teary and scared eyes, I knew right there what he was thinking..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Kang Daniel POV 
> 
> I really hope that you guys are enjoying this story. 
> 
> Tell me if there is something wrong or where should I improve...etc...
> 
> English not my first language
> 
> Next chapter will it be in both POV

**(Kang Daniel POV)**

Don’t ask me why, maybe it’s because we really are soulmates, but I knew that he was looking at me on that stage. So, I automatically looked at him and when I saw those teary and scared eyes, I knew right there what he was thinking. That's when I diced to send the caution to the hell and went for his side. I grab his hand and do a gentle squeeze and I try to assure him that everything will be alright. I know that we are going to different paths, but I’m going to make everything to be with him. He is my soulmate, my other half and the person that I love the most in this world. I look at him again, and boy, he is smiling at me now. The smile that always makes my heart skip a beat like the first time...

\-----------

**_February/March 2017_ **

_When I open the A class door the first thing that I see it's him and like in the company evaluation day when I saw him popping and singing, my heart makes a trick again. I would love to know why my heart is acting like this again. On that day I thought it was because he was so cool at dancing, singing and popping._ _So, yeah was just pure_ _excitement_ _. But know, looking at him has I open the door and he lifts his head with such a serious face, my heart is doing funny_ _business_ _again and why. Oh God why I feel so_ _ashamed_ _while I smile and clap my hands like a dumb ass idiot!_

_Then, I greet everyone in the room and bow to Boa_ _daebyeon_ _-in while I go to take a sit next to little_ _Woojin_ _, smiling at him like a mini celebration for our achievement. He grabs my hand and talks to me, but for some unknown reason_ _I don’t give a shit for what he is saying to me because_ _my eyes are drawn to him_ _again._ _Something must be wrong with me because I never felt like this. I never had a desire to decorate_ _every_ _single_ _trace from_ _a_ _face before, not even with my previous girlfriends._ _I must be fucked up or_ _very tired from the sleepless nights, practicing or helping the_ _trainees_ _with_ _difficulty_ _on dancing like_ _Jaehwan_ _or little_ _Woojin_ _. Yes, that’s_ _it_ _Kang Daniel! You are just really,_ _really,_ _really tired. But why, why can’t I stop myself from looking at him._

_I can see that he is very nervous, that’s why he is so serious right know and thank God for that, because he can’t see me right now starring at him,_ _but_ _I can’t help myself when I feel so drawn to him and he has such sharp_ _features with small and heart-shape face. He is so handsome. “What the fuck are you thinking Kang_ _Eui_ _geon_ _?”_ _He has a face of an actor. He has such long eyelashes and I can spot three moles on his left cheek they are placed in a triangle like_ _constellation way. I have to fight the urge to touch them, because there are so beautiful. “What fuck is wrong with me? I really need to sleep!”_

_When Boa_ _daebyeon_ _-in_ _calls his name, he gets up and he is so tense and shaking so much with the nervousness that I just want to go to him, hug him and whisper words of encouragement and comfort and taking to somewhere safe. “Again, what the fuck is this? What the fuck am I thinking?” When he gets his_ _grade,_ _I can see that he is very happy. That means that he will continue to be an A too and that makes me so happy too. He comes back to his seat so_ _excited_ _and happy that he almost trips o_ _n his own feet. He gets so embarrassed and that is so cute. He is so cute that I can’t stop looking and smiling at him. “OMG, Daniel! What the fuck, dude? You don’t find men cute!”_

_He finally notices my gaze and looks at me, still a little embarrassed, but with a huge and beautiful smile on his face that makes my heart stop beating for a moment and I can feel that my ears are becoming very red and hot. “_ _Euigeon_ _,_ _Euigeon_ _you really are fucked up today,_ _shinsha_ _! I never felt like this before, not even with the girls that I dated.” He smiles at me again and I find myself wanting more and more. I want to get to know him better. I want to be his friend. I want to be closer to him. Strangely I find myself wanting to protect that beautiful smile of his. “I’m so fucked up,_ _shinsha_ _!”_

_I don’t have time to continue with_ _my_ _thoughts and these strange feelings that I’m having, but I know that it’s just to lake of sleep, because_ _after_ _Boa_ _daebyeon_ _-in left we start to practice all together for hours_ _._ _So,_ _I_ _decide_ _to put those_ _thoughts_ _aside, and go on with my practice._

_After what it seems a day everyone in the room sit on the floor, unable to breathe or speak. Everyone is so tired and_ _without_ _strength_ _right_ _now. While siting I find so hard to breathe or talk. I almost don’t have strength to look at my front and god, why did I_ _had_ _to look. The man that is shaking my straightness “What the actual fuck???” is sitting at my front breathing with_ _very difficult,_ _but in a such sexy way that leaves me breathless. “OMG! What the fuck? Why am I thinking that a man is sexy? Fuck!”_

_Woojinie_ _is talking to me but, actually, I don’t give a fuck for what he is saying to me. I continue my starring to that guy, until I get my courage to talk to him. And hearing his voice is so good. He has such a beautiful voice. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You are a straight man, Kang Daniel!!! Fuck!” I don’t know what it came to me, but I honestly compliment him. I really loved his_ _audition._

_We talk a lot and for a lot of time. We found out that we had a lot in common and that he is a year old than me, but I don’t feel the need to be formal with him. I found out that we click very well, that we have the same kind of humor and that it is very easy to talk with him._ _I_ _talked_ _a lot with_ _Jaehwan_ _back in the B class, we are same aged, but with him it’s so_ _different_ _and better._

_We even forgot that we didn’t introduced_ _ourselves_ _and that’s when frown my face and laughing a lot I say to him - “I’m Daniel, by the way...” - I extend my hand to him to him. - “Kang Daniel!”_

_He starts to laugh a lot to, and God such a beautiful laugh (Snapp out of it, Daniel!) too in realization that we really didn’t introduced_ _ourselves_ _and says - “I’m_ _SeongWu_ _, Ong_ _SeongWu_ _!_ _”_

_Another thing that we realized is that we are_ _the only ones left in the practice room. I look at the watch and realized that it’s late already and that We should go have a little rest and grab some dinner. I tell him - “It’s late already, we probably should go...”_

_“Yeah, you’re right...” - He tells me, but like me he doesn’t want to end our conversation_ _or doesn’t_ _want to leave to his dorm room. That’s when he shows me that bright smile of him, but a_ _little_ _bit_ _embarrassed_ _\- “_ _Wanna_ _grab dinner together at the cafeteria, after we take a shower and change in our rooms?”_

_My heart skips a beat again. That smiles makes me weak and I start to have those strange feelings again, but I decide to go with the flow and smile right back at him with my bunny_ _teeth_ _kind of smile and I answer him. -_ _“D_ _efinitively! I would love that!”_

_We stay for a while in a complete silence, smiling at each other. I think to myself “I’m fucked!” This is really the start of something I just don’t know what it is..._

\-----------

Now we are returning to our dormitory one last time ... for a last night and all day together, there is a complete silence in the van. No one dares to speak. Everyone postponing the inevitable. No one dares to look at each other, not even we. Although we are sitting together and we are holding each other hands very tight, SeongWu is looking at the window. I can hear him and feeling his sobbing. 

I don’t say anything. I don’t have the courage to say something. I just want him to look at me, and see in my eyes the silent promise that we'll be together forever. That nobody or nothing will separate us. Right?


	3. When We Realized Something for the First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter guys!
> 
> It's unabated. English is not my mother language. so any mistake tell me!
> 
> It's a long chapter.
> 
> Would love to receive good or bad comments, anything!
> 
> Hope you guys like it! ;)

**(Ong** **SeongWu** **POV** **)**

When we arrived to our dorms everyone went to their respective floors and rooms. Everyone is tired and emotionally exhausted, so we all silently agreed to leave the conversations and spending time together for tomorrow and the day after. From both swing and our own companies, we were given some days to rest and spend time together even here in our dorms. So, we decided to too a zero-base kind of thing in one of the floors, doing almost everything we can together and in these one night and two days. Being just us eleven boys that became eleven brothers for life. Well, in my case I won nine brothers and the love of my life. The most important person to me after my parents and noona and, I really hope that, even apart, everything will remain the same between us eleven, but special us two. 

I never thought in my life that I would love so much a person like I love him. I can't even imagine my life without him. Who had thought that I, Ong SeongWu, a fucking player and womanizer would be caught in the love’s nest and with a guy, nonetheless? He made my world turn upside down and if he ever leaves me, I know that I can’t take it. I know that I will go be so broken hearted that I can’t go on with my life. That's how much in deep shit I am and that’s how much of afraid I am when we have to go back to our company. That this will drift us apart...

“ _SeongWu_ _?_ _SeongWu_ _?_ _SeongWu_ _?_ ” - The voice that is calling me brings me back to reality. I hadn’t noticed that I was spacing out. I look around and realize that I’m already in the middle of my room and that the voice who was calling me was shaking me softly with his hands in my shoulders. When I look to his face, I only see worry. Then he asks me. - “ _Are you alright? You were spacing out there. Is everything okay_ _?”_

“ _Neh_ _? Oh.._.” - I little confused I ask him, but then I but everything behind my mind as I see how worried he looks, and assure him. - “ _I’m fine. Just tired. Very tired._ ”

“ _Are you sure? I was_ _..._ _I am very worried with you, baby!_ ” - He says to me still with that worried expression in his face while he rubs warmly my arms with his hands. - “ _I was talking to you and_ _you were standing frozen there, not responding, just with such a hurt expression and with your eyes so empty. I was freak in out.”_

“ _Yes, don’t worry_ _Niel_ _. I’m okay, really_ _. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for making you worry. I’m really sorry,_ _Niellie_ _._ ” - It’s what I manage to say and I’m feeling so ashamed for spacing out, because he looks like a kicked puppy. I continue with a smile and put my arms around his waist to try to making him relaxed. - “ _It was such a physical and emotional exhausting day that made spacing out. But I’m fine, just tired that the only that I want is just lie in bed and cuddle with you_ _until I fall asleep._ ” 

“ _Hmmm... that sounds very nice._ ” - He says as he hugs me back and puts his chin on my shoulder. I can feel him calming. Than he continues - “ _But first we need to take a good and warm shower to relax. That’s okay baby, just don’t do that ever again. Don’t need for apologizes, it was a difficult day after all.._.” - Then he lifts his head and looks at me in the eyes and says. -“ _Ongie_ _?_ ”

“ _Yes,_ _Niellie_ _?_ ”

“ _Let's camping after tomorrow after we said our goodbyes to the rest of the members. Let's spend the rest of our free days together and far away from the city and the people. Just the two of us,_ _hm_ _?_ ”

“ _A... a... are you sure? In the woods? What about the bugs? And what about our managers?_ ”

“ _For you my_ _Ongcheongie_ _I'll put my phobia of bugs aside. For you my one and only I can conquer every fear of mine, and..._ ” - He says to me while hugging me tightly and kissing my cheeks - “. _.. about our managers I already talked to them and everything is all set and ready to go. The only thing that you have to do is to drive._ ”

“ _Ah my_ _Niel_ _is so cheesy!_ ” - I tell him while giggling and hiding my face in his chest, because that declaration of him, makes my heart skip another beat and my cheeks burning hot.

“ _Yes, I am and you love it so much._ ” - He tells with a grin as he grabs my face and places softly a kiss in the tip of my nose.

“ _Can’t deny that, unfortunately!_ ” - I tell him while snorting because he really is so right about that. - “ _But why of all the things we can do, do you choose to go camping?_ ”

“ _Because, I_ _wanna_ _be with you and just you before we get back to our companies. Because I want to have a proper normal date with you. Because I want to assure you that we will be together forever and that nothing can’t tear us apart. But most importantly, I_ _wanna_ _show you that I really love you by making love to you under the stars..._ ” - As soon as he has just spoken, he brings his face close to mine and pampers my face with sweet kisses finishing with a long and full of love peck in my lips. 

Then, he goes away taking his shower, smiling and laughing, leaving me here speechless and almost breathless. Frozen in the same spot with my heart is so flustered that I think that he is almost exploding inside of me. I put my hand in my chest trying to calm heart with a stupid, big and open smile in my face.  Damn! He knows how to leave me speechless and breathless. And, now I have a little certain that everything will be alright, because these feeling that I’m having now is like that first time when I felt like a teenage girl in love... when I started to have those strange feelings... the love that I had, have and will always have for him.

\-----------

**_March / April 2017_ **

_I have to confess that when I saw Daniel for the first time in the company evaluation_ _,_ _I was a bit scared. A guy with broad shoulders, pink hair ripped jeans and a muscular arm with those other MMO trainees talking very_ _loudly_ _was very intimidating._ _Now that I know him a lot better,_ _I think how absurd and stupid that thoughts were, because this guy is the opposite of that. Truthfully, Kang Daniel is such a happy puppy and a very friendly guy that loves talking and_ _skinship_ _a lot. He is such a friendly person, that makes me jealous. I mean, why does it have to be so touchy while talking with the other trainees? But, why does this bother me so much? When he does that with me, I don’t mind at all, although I don’t like_ _skinship_ _that much specially with guys._ _But when he does_ _with others something boils inside of me. What the fuck? Why I’m feeling so angry..._

_“_ **_Ong!_ ** **_Ong!_ ** **_Ong!_ ** **_Ong_ ** **_SeongW_ ** **_u_ ** **_! Yah,_ ** **_SeongW_ ** **_u_ ** **_!_ ** _”_ _– I_ _snap_ _out of_ _my_ _reveries when_ _I_ _hear someone calling me and I feel_ _a hand on my_ _shoulder shaking it softly and a face. A very handsome face very close to mine. So close that makes my heart_ _beating very fast._ _-_ _“_ **_A_ ** **_re you_ ** **_spacing out_ ** **_there_ ** **_,_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **_ah_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_I-_ ** **_I w_ ** **_-w_ ** **_as?_ ** **_A-a-am?_ ** **_I-I di_ ** **_-di_ ** **_dn’t_ ** **_no_ ** **_-_ ** **_notice..._ ** _”_ _I try to answer him but my voice_ _is shaking so much. Why am like this because_ _he is so close. I_ _mean, he is a guy so I shouldn’t be like this, so flustered. Hmm… but those bright_ _, warm_ _and sparkling almond eyes. I could get lost there_ _forever and those_ _plump and heart shaped_ _lips_ _I could just…OMG! What's wrong with me!_ _How can I be thinking about kissing a guy? I must be crazy. I must be fucked up of my mind._

_“_ **_Ya_ ** **_, Ong_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **_... you are spacing out again_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_Oh, sorry_ ** _!”_ _\- He wakes me up from my crazy and fucked reveries again._ _I apologize_ _for that but then I realize that he is not using the older status with me. -_ _“_ **_Hey you little punk... where is the_ ** **_hyung_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_I think that we don’t have the need for that, am I wrong? Specially because of how close he became and you are not that much older_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_Hmm... probably you are right and honestly I really don’t mind at all_ ** _.” - Truthfully, I know that I said that if it was a girl, I wouldn’t mind and that with boys it’s a different story, but with Daniel I really, really don’t mind._

_“_ **_Good_ ** _!” - He smiles such a big smile that his eyes close in a crescent moon form and that makes my heart flustered and makes me_ _wanna_ _kiss him. What the fuck? Get a grip of yourself Ong_ _SeongWu_ _!_

_“_ **_Good_ ** _!” -  I tell him while trying to put that thoughts aside. Then I ask him... - “_ **_But did you want something_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_I was talking with you and asking you something but you left me with no response for so long, so that’s when I realize that your mind was somewhere else._ ** _” - He tells me a little bit embarrassed with is ears super red and scratching the back of his neck. Cute! Very cute! Omg, now he is cute?! I must be out of mind. I’ve been practice so much that it_ _afected_ _my brain cells. - “_ **_I was asking if you_ ** **_wanna_ ** **_go eat out with me, because I’m kind of tired of the food from the cafeteria. It’s okay if you don’t want too, but I really loved it if you wanted to go with me_ ** _.” - Now he is even more embarrassed. So cute!_ _Aaaaahh_ _! Fuck! What's wrong with me._

_“_ **_I_ ** **_wanna_ ** **_go_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_It’s okay if you don’t_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_No,_ ** **_Niel_ ** _.” - I assure him, not letting him finish is sentence because I really want to do that too with him. I really want to go out with him. I want that so much, that my heart beats so fast again. - “_ **_I really_ ** **_wanna_ ** **_go with you! But how do we_ ** **_gonna_ ** **_escape from here_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_Leave that to me_ ** _!” - He tells almost with a whisper, but with a big smile on his face._

_That was the first time that we escape from the show without being notice, not even the guards from the place found out. Daniel found out a place at the back of the dorms that had a hole on the wall and that was our escape. We had to pretend that we were going back to practice, so no one could suspect of us and then we would run away. According to Daniel we had to be fast and unnoticed. So that’s when he grabbed my hand, because of my lack of stamina I wouldn’t fall behind. When he grabs my hand, I feel a shock of electricity in all my body. My body is feeling kind of warm too and my heart is beating so fast that I think that is going to jump through my mouth. I can feel my cheeks turning red. What the fuck is happening to me?! Why the fuck I feel like a teenage girl that is running away with her a crush. I must be out of my mind._

_I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize that his hand was no longer intertwined with mine and the feeling of loss made me some kind of sad because the warm coming from Daniel was no longer with me and I didn’t like it. I didn’t even realize that we were already in the taxi or Daniel staring at me with worried eyes. - “_ **_SeongWu_ ** **_is everything alright_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_Sorry,_ ** **_Niel_ ** **_. Spacing out again_ ** _...” (thinking about you and the strange feelings that you are giving to me) - This last part I tell to myself. - “_ **_I’m fine, really_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_So... are you regretting this_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_No, not at all_ ** _.” - I assure him with my best smile but I’m telling the truth. - “_ **_I’m really happy that we did this. So, where are we going_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_We are going to a place that I really wanted to try. It's a Ramen place owned by Big Bang_ ** **_Seungri_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_Hmm... that sounds good, very good_ ** _.” - I tell him as I smile to him. He smiles back to me and keeps staring at me. I do the same, although my heart keeps beating really fast, I can’t stop starring too. We don’t talk. I'm trying to decipher what’s in his mind by looking at his eyes. Does he feel the same? Is your heart also beating fast like mine? Is he also having these strange and confused feelings like me?_

_We were so lost in each other that we didn’t notice that we had arrived already. The taxi driver had to calls a few times_ _to tell us_ _that we had arrived to our destiny. We quickly apologize to the poor man, both of us feeling a bit embarrassed as Daniel pays the man. When we get out of the taxi we continue to bow and saying our apologizes. Then I can hear Daniel laughing and saying. - “_ **_Well, that was kind of embarrassing_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_You bet that_ ** _!” - I tell him as I laugh too._

_“_ **_Let’s go. I'm really hungry_ ** _.”_ _\- He says with that bright smile of his as he leads the way to the restaurant. I only nod and follow him._

_When we entered the restaurant, we tried to find a secluded place but this must a famous spot, because it is so crowded that is so hurt to find a seat. It's stupid I know; the show has barely begun so no one will know who we are but still, it’s better if we don’t attract attentions for later punishments on the show. We don’t want that, no sir! So, after we find a place to sit, we made our orders and we looked around but sometimes our eyes are drawn to each other and that make us blush. I can see that even Daniel is blushing as he adverts his eyes from mine (maybe I affect_ _him as he does to me) and that is kind of cute. It's super cute. It makes me a little bit crazy and with a fast beating heart._

_We don’t talk at first but funny enough that doesn’t make me unhappy or bored. It feels some kind of comfortable and good. When the food arrived, we start digging it and as we slurp a bit of the broth both of us started coughing because of the spiciness. But we can’t deny why this is so famous because it’s so good as we tell to each other aloud. As dinner goes by, we talk about at everything and anything. It's so good that we always have some kind of topic to talk about or joke about. Being with Daniel is so natural and great._

_The night passed so fast for my taste. I wish that we would spend more time like this, just the two of us. What am I even thinking? He is not my boyfriend or I don’t even like him like that? Do I?_ _Aish_ _! Ah, Daniel what are you doing to me! I_ _woke_ _up from my reveries when I feel his hand brushing with mine and I notice that we are inside of the English Village already._ _Jut that action makes me fluster and my mind goes crazy again. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I must be out of my mind because when we arrived at the dorms and like a school girl that asks a bit shyly and anxiously to her boy crush, I do that to Daniel asking him if he was going to stay in is room like always or if he goes to his room._

_“_ **_Ah, sorry_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** _...” - He tells him with such an apologetic and sad voice. - “..._ **_but it’s for the best if we don’t stay in the same bed tonight, because it’s already a bit late and we have the recording for M! Countdown tomorrow and we can’t go there with bag eyes, right_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_No problem at all. You are right, it’s for the best if we go sleep right away_ ** _!” - I tell him with a little smile on my face but why I feel this sadness inside me... why do I want him to stay... - “_ **_And thank you for dinner, although you shouldn’t have paid for everything,_ ** **_Niel_ ** _!”_

_“_ **_No. No. No. I had too_ ** _.” - He tells me while chuckling and scratching the back of his neck. He is embarrassed, I can tell. - “_ **_You took the risk by coming with me, so it was the least I could do_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_For you I would do it again and every time,_ ** **_Niel_ ** _.” - What the fuck did I just say?! That sentence made us quiet and we keep staring at each other. Neither of us know what to say and both of us are blushing. Until..._

_“_ **_SeongWu_ ** _!” – He calls me as he keeps staring at me. Then he grabs my face and caresses my cheek where my three dots are with his thumb and says. – “_ **_You have such pretty moles here. They look like a constellation! So beautiful_ ** _!” – As he realizes what he just said and did, Daniel freezes with his eyes and mouth wide open. After what it felt like hours of uttering silence, Daniel recovers from the shock and says - “_ **_I....I... I bet g-get g-going. Yap, I’m tired and we need to sleep. See you tomorrow,_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **_. Good night_ ** _!”_

_“_ **_G-g-good n-night, Daniel_ ** _!” - I don’t know how I had the strength to tell him that after what he just said to me. I can literally feel my knees shaking. They became jelly that I had to lean on the wall for support. My heart is beating so fast. I can feel my cheeks becoming very red. I can feel some kind of heat inside me and all over my body and I find very difficult to breathe. I don’t even know how I had the strength to go and lie on my bed._

_That night I didn’t sleep at all. What Daniel said to me kept replaying on my mind and I felt an emptiness because he wasn’t here it me. That nigh the realization came upon me. Those feelings that I had every time that Daniel touched me or he was staring at me. That need to be with him 24/7 or making him laugh to see those beautiful eyes turning into crescent moons and that smile with those bunny teeth. Or the hotness when I saw him dancing like the b-_ _boying_ _dance that he did to find the center. That's when I realize that I was fucked and literally screwed. I’ve been acting like a school girl with a crush because I am... no I can’t be... I like girls, right? I can’t like boys. I never had feelings for boys before but I can’t deny that I never felt this way with a girl neither, like the feelings that I have for Daniel! OMG! Honestly... I... I... I am... I can’t be... but I... I... I am in Love with Kang Daniel!_

_Fuck!_

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**(Kang Daniel POV)** (still in the past time)

_After the performance in M! Countdown we are going to start our second mission, that will lead us to our first elimination. So, now all the trainees are gathered to receive the second mission: group performances in front of a live audience. We are going to be formed in 16 teams, where witch team is composed by 5-7 members, to compete for 8 songs given to us. The members of the winning group would gain an extra 3000 points each, to be included into the ranking announcement of the week after and the group it the most votes will perform on M! Countdown again._

_The first person to choose is the one that was the center from the first mission, Lee_ _Daehwi_ _and damn! That kid knows how to play the game by choosing the most popular and best ones for his team. They definitely are going to be the next Avengers team like in the previous season. I did feel kind of sad because he didn’t choose me. I thought that I was pretty good and we were in the same class before. But, at the same time I’m relieved because_ _SeongWu_ _wasn’t chosen to be there and I want to be in the same group that as he. I don’t know why but my heart aches just imagining that we are not going to be in the same team. It's very absurd, I know. He is just a friend, not a girl crush. No, no. It's definitely not that, right? Lately I have been with mixed feelings and it's so confused_ _too because I can’t be away from him and that’s scares me a lot._

_I know that we have been together 24/7 since I moved to class A that even_ _Jisung_ _hyung_ _teases me that we are joined by the hip. Basically, we do everything together, minus shower, that would be_ _to_ _o_ _much, but we even sleep in the same bunk bed. Sometimes in his bunk bed or in mine, and we talk about everything until we fall asleep. We always find something to talk about and we can't get enough or tired of each other but being with_ _SeongWu_ _I feel like I know him since forever, but that doesn't mean my heart should be beating this hard just because I'm anxiously waiting and hoping to be in the same team as him._

_So_ _,_ _when_ _Minhyun_ _hyung_ _called my name to be in his team I was really glad. I mean, he is already known being from_ _Nu'est_ _plus_ _Junghyun_ _hyung_ _and the powerful voice of_ _Jaehwan_ _we are going to do great, such that we can be compared to the Avengers team. Another thing that made me very happy with this team is_ _SeongWu_ _. Yap,_ _SeongWu_ _is in this team too. Someone heard my prayers. So, when_ _Minhyun_ _hyung_ _called his name, I wanted to jump and scream of happiness, so much that I startled myself because of that. There must some fucking problem with me for being like this, this overwhelmed for being together with him. Special since that night that we escaped from the English Village to have dinner and spend a good quality time with_ _SeongWu_ _. But why the fuck did I have to do that at end of night. I don't know what happen with my fucking brain to make me do and say that to him. Thank God,_ _SeongWu_ _didn't thought that it was weird and didn’t change the way we are with each other. I can even say that now_ _SeongWu_ _is_ _touchier with me too and feels so great. So natural and so right._

_“_ **_Daniel! Kang Daniel! Ya_ ** **_h_ ** **_, wake up, Kang Daniel_ ** _!” – The loud voice from_ _Jaehwan_ _wakes me up from my thoughts._

_“_ **_Hmmm… what? What’s wrong_ ** _?” – I ask looking to all my team mates finishing at_ _SeongWu_ _that is seat down in front of me. Such a beautiful view. Like everyone else he is smiling because of me and I just want to kiss those moles and his thin lips…what? What the fuck is happening to me? What_ _on earth_ _are you doing to me Ong_ _SeongWu_ _?_

_“_ **_Earth to Daniel. Are you there_ ** _?” –_ _SeongWu_ _teases me_ _as he shakes his hand in front of my face_ _. So cute! (OMG!)_

_“_ **_Yes, yes. Sorry guys. I was spacing out, wasn't I_ ** _?”_ _– As I ask they all laugh and nod. – “_ **_I'm so sorry._ ** **_I'm focused know. What were we talking about_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_We were trying to decide who should be the leader_ ** _.._ _.”_ _–_ _Minhyun_ _says – “…_ **_and we were saying that_ ** **_Junghyun_ ** **_should be the leader because he already had experience and I know_ ** **_that he is a good one_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_I agree with you guys_ ** _._ _” – I tell them._

_“_ **_So_ ** **_,_ ** **_it's up to you. Do you want to be our_ ** **_leader_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_Okay_ ** **_it’s okay for me_ ** **_. I will do it. I will be the leader_ ** _._ _” –_ _Jonghyun_ _says as he_ _look_ _s a little bit scared_ _to us._ _After the little leader_ _ceremony,_ _he says to us._ _– “_ **_Actually,_ ** **_we should pick the_ ** **_center, who’s more important than leader..._ ** _”_

_“_ **_Since our song gives off a manly feel_ ** _…” –_ _Hyunbin_ _is the one who speaks first._ _I didn’t say it, but our song is ‘Sorry_ _Sorry_ _’ by Super Junior_ _sunbaenim_ _._ _– “…_ **_I thought_ ** **** **_SeongWu_ ** **** **_hyung_ ** **** **_or_ ** **_Daniel_ ** **_hyung_ ** **** **_would_ ** **_be good_ ** _._ _”_

_“_ **_I think_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **** **_hyung_ ** **** **_fits well_ ** _!” – I tell as I look to him._ _Honestly_ _,_ _I don't have that desire to be the center and I know that he really wants to do it._ _And, yes, I used the_ _hyung_ _since it’s not just the two of us._

_“_ **_He is the one who_ ** **_fits_ ** **_’Sorry_ ** **_Sorry_ ** **_’ the most_ ** _...” -_ _Junghyun_ _agrees with me._

_“_ **_I_ ** **_’ve_ ** **_heard many times_ ** **_that I look a bit apologetic_ ** _._ _” –_ _Everyone laughs as he_ _says_ _that_ _playfully but, just look at his happy face. So cute! I just want to squeeze those cheeks…._ _okay_ _… you have to stop with that Kang Daniel._

_“_ **_Then it is_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** _?” -_ _Minhyun_ _asks us._

_“_ **_People who agree_ ** _?” -_ _Junghyun_ _asks us too._

_“_ **_I absolutely agree_ ** _!” -_ _Jaehwan_ _affirms as he raises his hand like the rest of us. We do another little ceremony for the center._ _SeongWu_ _fakes that he is crying because he is very touched. Everyone, including me are laughing at is playfulness but I know that_ _he really_ _desired_ _to be the center and seeing that_ _happiness coming from him makes my heart warm. Very warm and makes_ _truly_ _happy too. I want to see him happy forever. I want to making him happy forever. Really! God, what it’s happening to me?!_

_After that we started to distribute the parts of each one and then we started to learn the_ _choreography_ _. That is the easy part for me, because I can learn to do the choreography very fast and I could see that with_ _Junghyun_ _hyung_ _is the same thing. So, we are the ones who would help the others one that had more difficulty in learning, like_ _Jaehwan_ _or_ _Hyunbin_ _. Between dancing and teaching_ _SeongWu_ _and I would steal glances at each other. Sometimes when I would be at the_ _back,_ _I would_ _be staring_ _at him without realizing that. Sometimes he would look at me_ _through_ _the mirror and he realized that I was staring at him while blushing. I think that he was blushing or it could be because of the practicing, right? But it’s cute anyway! And those eyes. So_ _profound_ _and with some kind of meaning that I can’t_ _decipher_ _... he has given me that kind of look since that night that I said that thing. It's like he is looking for some kind of answer. Those this mean that he has the same strange feelings for me? Do I have feelings for him? What kind of feelings do I have? It's not like he is a girl for me to feel something, right?_ _Although_ _, I never felt like this with a girl before. I liked them, honestly, but I didn’t have the necessity to see and making them happy or the need to protect them like I want to do with_ _SeongWu_ _. I'm fucked right? I need to figure this out and help. I fucking need help because I'm freaking out..._

_There is only one person that I trust so much in this world beside my mother, but I can’t talk about this with her._ _I think that she would be_ _ashamed_ _of having a son that is having_ _these confusing feelings_ _towards another boy. So, this_ _person_ _is the only_ _one that_ _I can really talk too. Well, he is like my omma. He is always there for me. He is the one that made me come to this survival program and I know that he will not judge me, ever. So, that’s why I am now at his room door looking for him to talk with him._

_“_ **_Jisung_ ** **** **_hyung_ ** _!”_ _\- I call him._

_“_ **_What it is,_ ** **_Niel_ ** **_ah_ ** _?” - He asks me but seeing my distressful face he becomes a worried_ _omma_ _and continues. - “_ **_Niel_ ** **_, what’s wrong? What happen? Was something bad?_ ** _”_

_“_ **_Kind of, but_ ** **_h_ ** **_yung_ ** **_,_ ** **_I need to talk with you, alone_ ** _.”_ _\- I tell him with a_ _whining_ _voice._

_“_ **_Sure thing. Let's go_ ** _.” - He tells me as I lead him to an empty room in our dorms._ _\- “_ **_Now Niel ah, tell me what’s wrong_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_Ah,_ ** **_hyung_ ** **_I don´t even know how to start_ ** _...” - I tell him as I_ _scratch_ _the back of my neck like I always do when I’m nervous. - “_ **_But you know that I always dated with girls, right_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_Hmm... yes and_ ** _?” -_ _Jisung_ _asks me._

_“_ **_And lately I’ve had these_ ** **_strange_ ** **_feelings and it’s been so confusing because it’s a person that I shouldn’t be feeling like this, you know_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_It’s Ong_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **_, it isn’t_ ** _?” - He asks me_ _right_ _away._

_“_ **_How do you know_ ** **_hyung_ ** _?” - I ask him with a_ _shocked_ _face._

_“_ **_Oh,_ ** **_come on Niel ah, please_ ** _.” - He answers me with a sigh and continues, ending with a pout. - “_ **_You have been with that boy 24/7 since you went to the A class. You spend all of your time with him that_ ** **_you_ ** **_even forget your best friend aka_ ** **_omma_ ** **_here_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_Sorry_ ** **_hyung_ ** _.” - I apologize to him with my puppy eyes._

_“_ **_It’s okay Niel ah. I imagined that_ ** **_it_ ** **_would be like that_ ** _...” - He tells me sighing again._

_“_ **_What do you mean,_ ** **_hyung_ ** _?”_

_“_ **_When you to are in same room, you both are in your own world. You guys forget that there are other people in the room, not to mention the heart eyes that you send to each other_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_Heart eyes? That's not possible_ ** **_hyung_ ** **_. He is a boy, not a girl. I can’t have_ ** **_that kind of feelings_ ** **_for a boy_ ** _.”_

_“_ **_Niel ah... trust me. You do have feelings for_ ** **_SeongWu_ ** **_and there’s nothing wrong with that_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_But... but... but_ ** **_hyung_ ** **_, he is a boy_ ** _...”_

_“_ **_Tell me Daniel, what does your heart says_ ** _?”_

_After that question that_ _Jisung_ _hyung_ _gives me, I keep thinking on that night when I said those things to_ _SeongWu_ _. When I touched his cheek. When I_ _grabbed_ _his hand. When I had and have the need to protect him. The need to making him happy always. And the times that my heart_ _beat it_ _so fast that it seems he was_ _gonna_ _jump_ _through_ _my mouth. The times that how my all body would get heat when we touched each other. The times that his_ _genuinely_ _smile to me made me flustered._ _How happy I was and am when we spend our nights talking about everything and nothing. How sometimes I have this desire to cuddle him, but I_ _restrain_ _myself. That's when the_ _realization_ _beat me so hard and fast, but it can’t be, can? He is not a girl. He is a boy, but it can be and it is and... OMG! OMG! OMG! I like him! I like him a lot._ _I am in Love with_ _Ong_ _SeongWu_ _!_

_Fuck!_

\-----------

When I went to take my shower, although I was smiling and laughing, my heart was aching because I know that wasn’t just the tiredness that made him like that. I know that he is still worried about our future and that’s why planed in advance our little trip. I want to assure him that I’m going to fight for us. That I’m not going to let no one break us apart. A little pervert and kinky part of mine always wanted to make love with the love of my life in the middle of the woods and under the stars, I can’t deny that. But, at the same time, I want to show him that my love for him is very real, strong and it will last forever until the day I die. It's true. Who at thought that I, Kang Daniel, the straightest man in the world would fall in love for another dude? A love so strong like no other, that I could die for him. Yes, I know... I’m the cheesiest person! He made me like this, so bear with it!

Now we are lying in my bed. I'm hugging him with my hands on his back, rubbing them softly while he is with is face on the crook of my neck and hugging me back with such a strong hold. He is already sleeping, I can hear his soft snoring but I know that he is holding me with such strong force because he is so afraid to let go and I wouldn’t be here tomorrow with him. That's why I continue planting kisses on the top of his head to show him that, although I’m afraid too for the unknow, I’m here as long as he wants me to. That our lives are going to be so different from what we had until now, but our love will remain the same or even bigger. 

I'm known for to be a brave person (let’s not talk about bugs, okay?) and a very confident one too, so I do have a little certain that everything will be alright, because these feeling that I'm having now is like that first time when I felt like a teenage girl in love... when I started to have those strange feelings... the love that I had, have and will always have for him.


End file.
